2007 May | BoWilliams.com

Rotavirus 2007: It’s vomiterrific!

May 232007

There is a strange creature living in our house at the moment.

He looks a lot like our sweet little boy Aaron, but this kid is mad as hell all the time and hot to the touch. Also, he walks around the house vomiting and screaming, while grown-ups follow with strange machines. It’s like a low-budget horror movie with no plot.

We are being visited by a lovely rotavirus, or norovirus, or something similar. No one else has it as of now, and if we make it through tomorrow afternoon we’re probably in the clear.

Our Bissell Little Green, always a useful household item but critical at times like these, has been moved from the utility closet to the bathroom counter to enable rapid deployment:

Clothes, couch cushions, carpet, sheets, blankets, stuffed animals, pillowcases, and pillows have all gotten it. Yes, we have a bucket at the ready all the time. No, it doesn’t help much.

It struck about two hours after he finished his very most favorite meal in the world (tacos) on Sunday night. I really hope the illness doesn’t ruin that for him. He eats nothing else so enthusiastically.

As of this writing, Aaron’s dinner has been down for three and a half hours. That is by far the best he’s done, so keep your fingers crossed. Also, he just smiled at me for the first time since Sunday night. Perhaps the curse has lifted.

Hang in there, little man.

Keep your eye on the arrow

Annoyances, Menagerie 1 Response »

May 232007

If you set out to find something that makes you think “what were they thinking?”, it’s a pretty safe bet you’ll never have to rest a minute before continuing the search.

I took this photograph today with my telephone. This road is close to work.

Are you grasping the absurdity of such? Note the double yellow line, faded but unambiguous.

Let’s consider: where would such an arrow be sensible? About all I can come up with is in a country that drives on the right side of the road, just over the border from a country that drives on the left side of the road. Needless to say, such is not an accurate description of this location.

Something else that bugs me is that it’s all by itself. I mean, just what the hell are the drivers in the other lane supposed to do? There’s no arrow there. Isn’t that inviting a crash?

Burt Reynolds bookends

Popular Culture No Responses »

May 222007

Burt Reynolds is a talented actor.

It’s easy to forget that. One Smokey and the Bandit can be forgiven and even enjoyed, if a tad guiltily; the sequels can’t (and my bud Charles postulates that it was his unwavering loyalty to Jerry Reed that undid him during this part of his career). Follow that with a Stroker Ace here and a Cannonball Run there, and it’s not tough to build an opinion that the most meaningful thing the guy ever did was play a doddering dad on Evening Shade.

I choose two films by which to remember the greatness of which Reynolds was/is capable. On the front end, his portrayal of Lewis Medlock in Deliverance was a tour de force. Yeah, yeah, I know, “squeal like a pig” and all that, but have you actually watched the film front to back? It’s a horrific masterpiece, and Reynolds was the second coming of Marlon Brando waiting to happen.

On the back end, his Jack Horner in Boogie Nights was an excellent balance of humor, drama, and tragedy. Moreover, it effectively highlighted the strengths and weaknesses of a seasoned professional on the edge of not just burnout, but total and spectacular collapse. That his business was blue movies was irrelevant; it could have been anything and remained poignant.

I think Burt Reynolds made some poor choices. When he did have a role in which he could shine, however, he was masterful.

Grumpy

Menagerie 3 Responses »

May 212007

No, you don’t look at all stupid with that Bluetooth earpiece stuck on the side of your head every damned place you go.
Tell me again about how much richer your life is since you got rid of your television. Verily, it is never anything but fascinating.
I love when you put your money away, carefully fold and store your receipt, and check your makeup and/or hair before you drive away from the ATM.
I know you love your dogs and cats. I love mine too. I still think including them in a professional family portrait is silly.
Ditto hanging stuff on your rear-view mirror past age 20.
“Not my kid!” = “Almost certainly your kid.”
Will you please just order off the menu?
I think you should so totally pierce your brain next.
If I want to know what you paid for that, I’ll ask. Absent said query, you may safely assume that my curiosity about such is negligible.
Yes, I do think that mole looks suspicious. Better go ahead and give me your watch. Also your table saw. Help me load it?
You know how when we watch a movie you’ve already seen, and you’re all “watch this” and “oh, this will blow your mind” and stuff? That doesn’t annoy the shit out of me.
It’s clear that you’ve made a comprehensive effort to understand all sides of the issue, and haven’t let extremists define the side of the debate you’re predisposed to dislike.
If I ever say “meet you at the mall,” you’re being ditched.
Nah, no problem. Leave your shopping cart wherever you like. I’ll move it. Maybe you’ll find it.

Forever stamp redux

Annoyances, Consumption, Current Events, Liberty, Politics 1 Response »

May 212007

So the arrival of the forever stamp has me asking some interesting questions. For example, does it make sense for me to drop $500 or so on stamps, hoping they’d last the rest of mine and Lea’s lives? I started down that road, and then I thought “hmmm. I wonder how long that self-adhesive lasts? I better ask before I make the Big Buy.”

Here is exactly what I sent to the U.S. Postal Service at their Contact Us link early last week:

What is the lifespan of the adhesive on unused self-adhesive stamps? If they are kept in a cool, dry, dark place, how long will the adhesive last?

Here is the exact answer I received today:

Thank you for contacting us about how long the adhesive on the stamps.Unfortunately, any information available on this issue must be obtained from your local Post Office. Based on your ZIP Code, the contact information for your Post Office is…

Uhh. So I’m to believe that my local postal workers will know about this, and the USPS itself doesn’t? I wonder whether a human being even read my question?