Kraft condiment coup confirmed!

My friends, for weeks now, the Internet whispers and rumors have tantalized us. Kraft, of course, has remained maddeningly tight-lipped: always polite, but never truly informative, in their responses to my many phone calls, emails, faxes, and letters.

Indeed, I’ve had to remain tight-lipped with many of you as well, though not by choice. Many of you consider me an insider in the hot, always-changing world of mass market sauces, so you’ve naturally sought any tips or inside information I might have had. Alas, I’ve had none to give you–until today. At last, I have solid confirmation.

Kraft barbecue sauce now has more BBQ flavor.

When Lea returned from Publix and set it on the counter, I thought “this is the kind of day that it’s great to be alive.” Tearfully, I grasped the bottle, still not fully believing I was holding it in my hand. But there it was. It was real. It had finally happened.

Unfortunately, I had to go out and get some more, because I got so excited that I drank the entire bottle on the spot. There’s nothing like 18 ounces of more BBQ flavor in one shot.

To be sure, the exact more BBQ flavor formula is a closely held secret, and why wouldn’t it be? It’s worth millions. So it’s tough to tell what the exact change is, but for what it’s worth, here is the new ingredient listing:

It’s days like these–and products like these–that make me realize that Kraft is not simply a faceless multinational conglomerate, but a company that truly and deeply cares about making a positive difference in peoples’ lives. Thank you, Kraft, and kudos to the fine sauce artisans who made more BBQ flavor happen.

Be Sociable, Share!

• 

Possibly related posts (automatically generated):

1. A little more precision in identifying processed cheese products, if you please Yeah, so I’m tired of setting your slacker asses straight one person at a time, so here it is to be forever Googleable: Cheez Whiz...
2. Thursday miscellanea #75 Apart from the transport controls, when I click something in Windows Media Player it almost never does what I expect it to.  I’ve been using...
3. Thursday miscellanea #166 It was great to meet a few more Rocket City Bloggers last night at Lime Fresh, and the proximity to retail 11 days before Christmas...