Dec 282006

Hooooooboy. This is a new low. I bet I didn’t walk 100 yards today and yesterday put together.

Tonight Domino’s delivered a grease bomb with three or four sorts of processed mammal on it. Green olives are a vegetable, right? Last night I nuked two Oscar Mayer bun-lengths, dropped them in a bowl of Hormel chili without beans, and squirted about eight inches of French’s mustard on the top of it for dinner. It was delicious. Non-evening meals have consisted solely of Lea’s leftover slap-your-mama-good breakfast casserole (a Christmas morning tradition) and chocolate Santa Clauses.

Washing all this down has been mostly Coke Zero (which, paired with my diet, is essentially like putting a little Bactine on a sucking chest wound). Also, the 1.75l bottle of Jack Daniel’s seems to be down a couple of inches.

So what have I been doing? Ooh, tres important shit, grasshopper. Checking out documentaries on the super-deluxe DVD version of Sin City, which is threatening to blow my list of favorite films wide open. (Yeah, I’m late to that party, but what a party it is.)

I’ve also been playing a lot of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II, which I devoured when it was new but never played dark side. I played to the bottom of the scale (dark side mastery) as quickly as I could. Then I got bored with being mega-evil and decided it would be fun to see if I could pull it all the way back the other way before the game ended (not even close; didn’t quite get back to the middle). Figured out it was probably time to set the controller down when at one point Kreia started looking and sounding pretty sexy to me.

Finally, thanks to considerate friends who know me very well, I’ve been running as background processes what to do with Barnes & Noble and iTunes gift certificates.

(All of this has been enjoyed in conjunction with my marvy new 10-motor TheraSpa seat-top massager. Thanks, Santa Claus!)

Tomorrow marks my ascendence from “courting bedsores” to “minimally active,” as Nathan and I are going geocaching. And Alabama’s C- bowl game is tomorrow, which we’ll go watch at my dad’s, which is convenient to a park, which means I’ll have a bit of walking and swing-pushing at halftime.

Hey, call it a deep recharge. And I didn’t neglect the important grown-up stuff. My children have remained warm, fed, and clean. I got the household trash collected, in the cans, and to the street. And I’ve bathed.

I suppose there have been 48-hour periods in my life during which I moved less, but not without the flu or a sinus infection.

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